My wife gets lots of questions related to my side of our open marriage. To be honest, it looks MUCH different than the stories you read from the vixen perspective. I fully believe this is because men and women look for different things in relationships. Obviously, this is not an ‘allness argument’ and there will be outliers but in general the women I meet tend to want more than I can give. Since we opened I have not really had any long-term relationships. There have been two women in particular who have been fairly significant for good and bad reasons that I can share about. Like my wife, I have changed certain details to protect identities.
Karen was a divorced mother. We connected over kid play dates and our mutual interest in the creative arts. She was knee-deep in her studies and had a project she wanted my help to complete. There were some of the obvious cues that she was interested beyond the project, itself. She would sit close and make comments about how she liked my cologne. She would tease and compliment and laugh at all my stupid jokes. The attention felt good. We connected creatively. I figured this might be a good entrance for me into the stag side of open marriage. Now it’s important to note that this was my absolute first foray into the possibility of a new relationship.
There were a lot of unknowns and how best to navigate with both Karen and communicating this new potential with my wife. I made the mistake of allowing Karen to be close to our children prior to communicating with Vixey. I also invested emotionally in the damage Karen had experienced by her ex-husband out of a desire to help and heal. Good Intentions aside, this is not necessarily a positive thing because it subconsciously opened the door to Karen feeling like she could have more than I had to give. First and foremost, there is no one and nothing in this world that could replace my wife. In hindsight, I believe the level of empathy I committed to Karen may have unwittingly given her the false hope that I was in a place to commit more to her. Having an emotional investment isn’t a bad thing, but I failed to communicate well with Vixey. I eventually brought up my open marriage status with Karen and everything changed. The idea I was in an open marriage and unwilling to leave my wife was too much. There was a very long, last conversation where she felt confused and betrayed by the idea of my alternative marriage and I have not heard from her since. Moral of the story: don’t mix family with pleasure and be upfront with the Vixey.
My second story is much better! Sort of. Selina was the mom to one of my kids classmates. Now, before you go back to that thing about mixing family and pleasure, the difference here is that Selina’s child and my kid were just classmates. There was no investment beyond the classroom. No play dates. No connection to the kids. We exchanged numbers and started chatting.
Things were immediately interesting with Selina. She wanted to trade pictures. She was fairly upfront about sexual teasing. Eventually it came out that Selina had a mistress fetish. She got off on the idea of being the secret ‘other woman’. Of course, I shared this with Vixey who thought it was great! Yay :). Full steam ahead. We sexted A LOT. She sent me sexy videos and we talked about all the different ways a woman’s libido worked. Admittedly, I am much more the academic than the romantic (that’s why Vixey and I get along so well) but Selina seemed to like it. So with Vixey’s secret approval, Selina had her secret mistress fetish fulfillment.
One night in particular we were up very late. She had sent me some outfits she wanted to model for me and then got right down to business and described what she wanted. Selina sent me a pic of a woman deep-throating a popsicle and said she wanted to be on her knees in front of me, taking in my cock until she was choking. She wanted me to be rough with her. I described how I’d grip her hair and hold her head in place as I throat fucked her. She wanted more, so I talked about pulling out at the last moment, yanking her head back and cumming over her face. Selina then admitted that was a huge fantasy for her and she would gather up the cum into her mouth and swallow every last drop.
While the fantasy was amazing, the reality was a bit more complicated. We were both working professionals with kids. Finding the moments would be near impossible. Nevertheless, Selina and I continued to sext.
Then came the inevitable day, she began to ask for more. She wanted us to do play dates and for me to invest more in her life beyond the playfulness. I could see where this was headed, so we had an honest conversation about expectations. I reiterated that I was committed to my wife. Selina felt like she wanted more than playfulness, which I affirmed she deserved. The end was much better with Selina than it was with Karen.
I love my wife and I love what we have in open marriage. The beginnings of relationships are exciting but nothing can compare to the intimacy I share with Vixey. No one could ever replace her which is why if/when relationships happen for me, they will likely be fleeting experiences. And I am completely fine with that.