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Hello readers and thank you for always sticking with me, even when life can be a challenge! I promise I haven’t gone anywhere and in fact I have a lot of stories and thoughts I’m excited to share with you. First up? Some thoughts on a certain dating app I’ve recently tried. Okcupid is something a lot of you recommended I review. I’m glad I did! When it comes to dating apps, I found Okcupid to be far more intentional about being inclusive of alternative lifestyles. When building my profile, there were so many options to present the real, authentic me. For instance, instead of being pigeon-holed into monogamy and then having to drop a cheeky explanation in my bio, the Okcupid format had poly and open built in as options. Yippie for transparency!
Obviously this isn’t AFF so the profile pics weren’t going to be coming from my Manyvids but I was able to upload some nice, flirty shots. There were some questions to help round out the profile and then I was ready! Like all other dating apps, Okcupid relies on the swipe right/left method of matching with potentials. Once matches happen, either party can reach out unlike Bumble which requires the woman to initiate first contact. Of course, this means there’s an inundation of the typical brilliant male openers like “Hey” and “What’s up” but at least the app allows for shared initiative.
It should be noted even with the inclusion of alternate lifestyle and sex-positive options, Okcupid predominantly attracts the dating crowd. Not necessarily a bad thing if you’re looking for the possibility of a long-term relationship, which I tend to prefer. Once I had moved into the “getting to know you” phase of communication with a few of the matches, okcupid functioned well enough in terms of quality. There were maybe two or three fairly solid prospects. The chats kept my interest but as with all dating apps, you can never be quite certain of the commitment and when the other person might move on to someone else. Fickleness is a very real part of online dating and Okcupid is no exception. I’d say with any venture into the medium, have your expectations set low and focus more on the “game of connection” rather than the “endgame result”. I managed my expectations accordingly and actually walked away pleasantly surprised because I happened to find one of the best connections of my open marriage through the app. He has turned out to be one of the best sexy poly experiences I’ve ever had so stay tuned; those stories are soon to cum.
Finally, I leave you with a very interesting video that was shared with me regarding dating apps in general. This is not meant to dissuade you but rather highlight why it’s so important to walk into these dating platforms with a very grounded perspective.
It can feel like a grind if you’re on the app swiping for soulmates. I’d recommend taking a step back from the bigger expectations and finding joy in the game of it. Be selective. Don’t stress the swipe-backs. Take your time. Who knows? You might find that perfect match!