It is amazing to think about this journey through open marriage. As with anything worthwhile in life, there have been ups and downs. There has been growth and change. One thing I particularly enjoy is reading back through some of my original goals to see if/how these have been met. You’ll remember in one of my first posts I wrote about not experiencing orgasm (Interesting side-bar, this is a very common thing many wives write to me about). My first real orgasm happened with a stallion who had flown to meet me at a training event. I began to understand the contexts it took for me to continue experiencing orgasms but I never really thought what lay beyond that initial goal. Not until I met Giovanni and he opened my eyes to the idea of actual, feminine release.
Orgasm goal complete. Now I wanted to squirt.
Okay ladies and gentleman let’s talk real quick about squirting. For whatever reason, this is a topic that is randomly clouded in question and mystique. I believe this is because not all women experience squirting, so it becomes this mysterious thing everybody has opinions about but dont really understand. Squirting is essentially the release part of the orgasm for a woman (which means, yes, a woman can have an orgasm without there being an end release like men).
I think the most important bottom line here is that every woman is capable of squirting because we all possess the internal equipment for it to happen. It’s just that unlike men who literally just need to rub their dicks on things, a woman’s release is a bit more complex and relies on the marriage of the mind and body. I touch upon this on my previous post about the feminine libido. So while all women may be capable of squirting, not all women may experience it because it requires an excited mind and body and also a partner (or self) who knows how to facilitate the experience. I just don’t feel women always have access to all these pieces for one reason or another. A good example is myself: prior to opening my marriage I didn’t have the pieces in place to support my libido so I would have fallen into the category of women who likely never experienced orgasm, let alone squirting.
Thankfully, that’s not the case. Because I have a Giovanni.
Giovanni really has been an incredible stallion. He not only raised the bar for all other stallions by being the poly stallion I always wanted but also helped me take the next step in my own sexuality.
It was late at night. We had been talking about bringing me to that point of actual release and that evening the context had lined up for it to happen. Again, squirting is not something that can happen just by rubbing it out. I needed to feel physically and mentally stimulated. Giovanni and I were being playful, sensual. We kissed and touched and he edged me with his touch. We built the want together until he sensed that moment to begin trying.
His lips trailed from mine to my breast to take in my nipple. My breath hitched. I felt his fingers gently slip inside me and begin a slow, deliberate finger fuck. In and out and coaxing my moans. He would slip them out to rub my clit and then back in again for a few more thrusts, all while stimulating my nipples with his tongue and lips or kissing me with a passion that had my heart racing. I began arching my hips to beg more of him, more of his touch. My mind drowned in the sensations I felt. And Giovanni was slow, sensual, deliberate. I loved his control. It meant I didn’t have to have any.
He continued finger fucking me until I felt the tips begin to curl upwards inside and tease my g-spot. His speed increased. I felt the beginnings of the build inside my body. It kind of feels like a pressure to pee which typically I would fight. This time, however, Giovanni encouraged me to not worry, don’t think about it, let it out.
He placed his free hand at my stomach and finger fucked me harder and faster. My breath was coming in gasps. There was a part of me that wanted to stop the intensity of what I was feeling. But another part of me wanted it all. I fell into his words, his encouragement and the thrust of his fingers.
When a woman’s body prepares to squirt, there is a certain gland that begins to expand. Guys say it can feel like a balloon and actually push at the fingers. What I felt was the pressure, the urge to release. So close. The most difficult part was convincing myself to let go. In the past when I had come that far, I could never get past the mental and physical hurdle of release because the sensation feels very much like peeing. Obviously, we are trained since childhood to hold it in so this was where Giovanni’s tenderness and encouragement elevated the entire experience.
With him there was no judgment or hesitation. I could see and feel his excitement for me to reach that new level of sexual awakening. It was exactly what I needed. I let go. And holy shit did I squirt! It’s difficult to describe the rush of feelings as it happened because so much of a woman’s physical release is tied to her emotions. My body shook. I cried. Giovanni held me. It was a perfect moment for my first time.
For the women out there who struggle with orgasm and squirting, I think what it really comes down to is letting go of expectations and working through the trained responses. Every woman is different so reaching these sexual milestones will be different but I also believe every woman is capable, given the right stimuli and circumstances.
For men, it’s all about being the support and understanding you can’t ‘make her cum’. This is her body and her process. Giovanni didn’t make me squirt, he helped remove the ‘pressure to perform’. Bottom line: Support. Encouragement. Sensitivity. Patience. These are all the facets of a good lover.