Vixey was born out of a desire to journal my experiences, not only to remember the sexy, fun times but also to look back on my growth in open marriage through an honest lens. There are so many positives. You can read about them here. But there are also a fair share of difficulties. Take Lorenzo for instance. After the encounter in the hotel, he went on to ghost me. Literally that evening at the club, there was a sudden awkwardness and distance. We are talking a complete 180 in the relationship.
The fuck!?
Had he been a closet asshole the entire time? I pride myself on my ‘asshole radar’, so what had happened?
There was a lot to process.
This is the point I jump back to the positives of open marriage because I was not alone to process by myself. I had my stag. And, while I understand not all men think alike, it was nice having his male perspective.
“The guy’s a fucking asshole.” <— My stag’s male perspective.
Needless to say, we both had to take some time to cool down before any solid objectivity could happen. This was my first real let-down in open marriage. Recall that Lorenzo and I had shared some wonderful moments together. It was the sudden reversal in the relationship after a surprisingly poor experience in bed. Two strikes, back-to-back. And then the ghosting that followed.
Lorenzo quit messaging me. He cancelled plans. Classic douchebag one-night-stand, right? I thought so, except he continued to haunt my social accounts. He dropped cutesy messages, here and there.
What the fuck, dude!?
So…I asked him.
It was late one night at a club event. You’ll come to find, dear readers, that I am not one to beat around the bush with ANYBODY. Closure is important to me. I pulled Lorenzo aside and straight up asked what was going on. He gave a mumbled non-answer. I told him I don’t play games. Again, no real answer.
And that was that. Lorenzo did not want to man-up and have an actual conversation? That was fine. I said my peace. I walked away with my closure.
Do I regret the Lorenzo chapter of my open marriage? No. Absolutely not. It taught me an incredibly valuable lesson I have carried forward into new relationships. I am always upfront with potential stallions, not only about my open marriage, but also what I’m looking for in the relationship. You can refer back to my post on what I look for in stallions to see.
What I have come to find in open marriage is that, just like anything worthwhile in life, it takes perseverance through the struggles in order for growth to happen. I do not regret my time with Lorenzo. Despite the lackluster end, I still have some wonderfully romantic and sexy memories. I also learned more about myself and how best to navigate new relationships.
And I have yet another example of my stag’s support and love.
Not bad. Not bad at all.